Difficult feedback to give?
Need it to land really well?
Willing to invest the time?
Here, red10 ‘s Will Sudworth introduces red10 ‘s gold standard for giving feedback, using the acronym I’M SQIFFE, Will shares the story of when using this approach saved him from a horrible situation.
It was Monday. Mick hadn’t come into work and hadn’t messaged. I didn’t know what to do, so I did nothing. Which meant the “call waiting alarm” was going off all the time.
It was my first time line-managing the morning shift of an IT Helpdesk. This was back in the late 90s. We’d installed some new tech: a screen showing how many calls were waiting, that went red and sounded an alarm when there were 3 or more people in the queue.
So if the small team was missing a person, the alarm would go off regularly. You couldn’t escape the alarm; you even heard it in the kitchen and the toilets.
On Monday we coped. Barely.
Mick didn’t come in, again.
No message, again.
I still didn’t know what to do. Now the team were getting grumpy and asking me where he was and what I was doing about it. Again, I did nothing.
On Tuesday we coped. Just.
To our surprise, Mick came in, late. No apology for being late. No explanation for missing the last two days.
The team were angry now and passing me notes saying things like
- “If you don’t say something, we will”
- “He’s letting you down, himself down, the whole team down. He knows how we have to keep on top of calls.“
- “That’s so rude!”
- “I can’t believe he hasn’t said anything.”
Finally, I asked him for a coffee so we could catch up.
I said, “Mick, you didn’t come in on Monday and you didn’t call-in to say why, same Tuesday, and today you’ve come in yet late and still no reason why….”
And I was about to use some of the hard lines the team had given me, when I noticed tears in his eyes and I instinctively stopped and said, “Are you okay?”
And thank goodness I did… I’ll explain why at the end of this article.
Crucial Feed-Forward Conversations
- you’ve had to have some “crucial conversations”.
- you thought a lot about the conversation, before and after.
- you’ve not come across tried and tested good ways to have feedback – or maybe it’s better to call it “feed-forward” – conversations.
Introducing I’M SQIFFE
There are several feed-forward models we like in red10: From the 5:1 Catching People Doing Things Right to Requests and the 4-Step Assertive Model.
Yet this acronym-based model, I’M SQIFFE, is the gold standard for when risk is high, and you’re willing to invest the time to land the conversation well.
In case you’re interested, “Squiffy” is an olde English word that means tipsy or slightly drunk. A client came up with this playful acronym and we like it!
Click on the letters to run through the steps
You can click here for another, more playful example of how to use it