There was an item on the radio a couple of week’s ago in which 17 and 18 year olds, still at school, were being asked to guess the meaning of words and acronyms from the world of business.

In most cases, tomorrow’s workforce was rendered completely bewildered remaining, in many ways, just as baffled when given the explanations. I thought I’d try to shed some light on a few common terms from within HR (Human Resources) and L&D (Learning and Development).

  • Authenticity – a term used to describe the personal quality of being genuine and consistent in word and deed.
  • Authentricity – a term used to describe insufferable colleagues seemingly electrified by their own brilliance.
  • Social media networking in the workplace – using social media to build relationships with colleagues.
  • Notworking – using social media at work to build relationships with colleagues.
  • Mentoring – operating as an experienced and trusted advisor to a colleague or more junior level member of staff.
  • Upward mentoring – An optimistic attempt by HR to get senior level executives to appreciate that they really don’t know it all whilst at the same time terrifying the life out of more junior level members of staff.
  • (Tentoring – mentoring in the outdoors usually above level sea).
  • Discretionary effort – contributing thoughts and actions above and beyond all you are paid to contribute which might get you noticed and seen as someone the organisation should take steps to hang on to.
  • Indiscretionary effort – contributing thoughts and actions well beyond anything in your contract which will definitely get you noticed and, depending on the level of indiscretion, summarily sacked.
  • Under-qualified – phrase used when your interviewer concludes that you have not acquired enough qualifications for the job for which you have applied.
  • Over-qualified – explanation offered to you when your interviewer concludes that he does not like you but has no good, rational reason for not hiring you.
  • Promotion – acquiring higher status, pay grades and greater levels of responsibility commensurate with your skills and abilities.
  • Slowmotion – staying with the same company in the hope of moving up the ladder rather than switching companies to gain a promotion.
  • Personal Development Plan (PDP) – a written framework normally completed following a discussion between you and your boss for  structuring your development needs and solutions.
  • Impersonal Development Plan (IPD) – a written framework normally completed following a discussion between you and your boss concerning your development and bearing no resemblance to the previous conversation.
  • Experiential activity – an active method of learning often undertaken with team colleagues.
  • Expeliential activity – an alternative learning method requiring team members to vote on who in the team they would like to be made compulsorily redundant. Past participants have noted that this does indeed really ‘teach folk a lesson’…
  • (Past Participants – same as past participles but with more underwear).
  • Lunchtime Team Talk – a huddle in the staff restaurant over food.
  • Lunchtime Team Fork – required when there is a shortage of clean cutlery available during the team talk and a great way to test team members’ preparedness to share.
  • Top team – alternative name for the Board or Executive Committee.
  • Bottom team – definition needs more anal-ysis.
  • Colleague Feedback – opportunity to help team mates develop in meaningful ways.
  • Upward feedback – an out-of-the-blue opportunity for you to develop a meaningful, new career.